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February 19, 2010 / milesandhisfavorites

Fusion Police: A Fan Fiction Part 1

You’ve probably heard about me.  I’m General Alpha Char, General Char for short.  I led the forces in the Battle Of The Peach Creek Estates.  You know, the super fight when every monster in the Peach Creek Estates joined forces with the super-boss monster, Bad Max.  But we took care of it.  But today, just a week after I was last sucked into Fusionfall, a Painsaw I was fighting suddenly got a lot more powerful.  It suddenly hit me with an attack that made me black out.  I woke up to see a familiar nerdy looking face.  But it looked like the nerd had beat up an evil genius and stolen his clothes.  I should have known.  “Haven’t we done this before?”, said Mandark.

“I mean, really, last time we got you in, I had to wake you up.  You looked like you  hadn’t gotten to a Resurrect’m in days!”  I decided to just skip the rude talk and ask what was going on to my top scout.  I went to our barracks in the Delightful Developments infected zone.  I was glad to see he had come up the ranks to a captain, as he achieved Level 4 status.  He told me that the army had been mostly disbanded by the Urban Rangers Elite, a faction of Urban Rangers with clearance to use weapons.  They’ve saved my life more than once.  And now this?!  They disband the one thing that kept the whole world together?!  Really?!

I decided to go to the Peach Creek Commons, Urban Ranger central.  The Cul-De-Sac Fortress was guarded by them.  There were also shopkeepers around, as well as other necessities.  But I went for one plain reason-to see Eddy, the self-proclaimed king of the castle (I’m not kidding, just look at the place), and leader of the Urban Rangers.  After a bit of conversation, half of which was Eddy trying to sell me one thing or another (Did I mention Eddy is extremely greedy?), I got the message.  The Urban Rangers Elite were also cleared to make important decisons.  Which meant that I couldn’t do a thing about this, unless I could convince the Elite squad to undo this whole thing.  And there was only one way to do that.  It was time to get reckless.

But first, a little word about the Future’s shopping metropolis, the Cul-De-Sac Fortress.  It’s actually the original Cul-De-Sac from Ed, Edd And Eddy.  But it’s changed a bit.  for one thing, it’s now surrounded by a 30-foot wall made entirely of cardboard (Yeah, cardboard.  Actually, it keeps the monsters out).  And it has two giant doors at the entrance, each having a different expression of the wood slat, Plank.  There are also cardboard shelters and tents inside.  Add in a S.C.A.M.P.E.R and a Simian Station, as well as at least 2 dozen Urban Rangers, either guarding outside or preforming some kind of necessity inside, and you have the new, improved, Cul-De-Sac!

Now back to the story.  I was formulating a plan that would convince the Urban Rangers Elite to reform the army.  Maybe something devious, like a hostage situation.  No, that would just make the problem worse.  Maybe prove we could take on another full attack.  No, too risky.  Just because we won the last battle, doesn’t mean that we didn’t lose lives and resources.  Then I had a very, very good plan.  I quickly ran across the old, wooden suspension bridge and went to the barracks.  I called for the messenger, and told him to tell everyone that I was initiating Plan PiGamma4, aka Operation S.N.A.G.S, which stands for Super Not Actually Good Situation.  “But General Char”, said the messenger.  “That plan goes against the law!”  “Well”, I said.  “It’s the only way to keep this place totally safe.”



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