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June 27, 2010 / milesandhisfavorites

Familia Crazia: Paris, Paris Part Two

(scene is top of Eiffel Tower)

(family is running from French police)

Miles: I hate being fugitives!  What do we do when we get back to the USA?

Eli: Technically, we’re only fugitives in France.  We’re fine in the USA.

Dad: And you know this how?

Eli: I don’t think you’d want to know.

(laugh track)

Mom: Now I don’t.

(laugh track)

(theme song)

(scene is masquerade shop)

Dad: So we put on disguises and no one will recognize us!  And I have just the thing!

(family exits shop wearing Napoleonic Cavalry costumes)

(laugh track)

Mom: No one will get suspicious when we look like we should be fleeing from the enemy at-

(Miles notices sign)

Miles: Waterloo!

Mom: See?

(laugh track)

Miles: No!  There’s a Waterloo convention about a mile west of here!

(laugh track)

Eli: Well that was oddly convenient.

(laugh track)

Miles: No one will recognize us if we blend in!

(French policeman runs up to family)

French Policeman: Have you seen a family of four dressed in some dorky-hey, wait a minute!

(laugh track)

(Miles talks to the man in rapid French)

French Policeman: Thank you!

(French policeman runs off)

Eli: How do you know French?

Miles: I also speak Italian, Taiwanese and Tagalog.

(laugh track)

Dad: Can you talk someone into getting us back to our hotel?

Miles: Can do.

(scene is airport)

(family is running from French police)

Dad: You just had to get us first class tickets, didn’t you?

Miles: How was I supposed to know that the French chief of police was traveling on the same flight?

(laugh track)

Dad: You’re the smart one!

Miles: You realize you just insulted yourself?

(laugh track)

Dad: Er… of course!

(laugh track)

Mom: No time for that, you two.  We have to get out of France, now!

Eli: It looks like there’s a flight leaving for Bethlehem in ten minutes!

Miles: Don’t worry.  I can get us tickets, but let’s do coach this time, ‘kay?

Everyone Else: Works for me.

(laugh track)

(scene is cargo hold)

Everyone: Five hundred thousand bottles of beer on the wall, five hundred bottles of beer…

(laugh track)


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