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July 18, 2010 / milesandhisfavorites

Familia Crazia: Bean-Burrito Bash

(scene is Miles’s bedroom)

Mom: You are going to help!

Miles: Make me!

Mom: I’ll take away your Cryptological Ultrasensory Super Scanner, your Unobtainium Solidifier, your Multi-Biotechnological Porta-Oven, your…

Miles: Okay, okay, I’ll do it!

(laugh track)

Miles: But don’t expect me to be happy!

Mom: Oh, I do.

(theme song)

(Miles is at desk, making blueprints)

Miles: I will go to the ends of the universe to make sure Eli’s birthday sleepover gets out of hand, and Mom sends the kids home.  And that means that… wait a second.

(laugh track)

Miles: Mom, I know you stole my Subzero Temperature Audio Camera!

(laugh track)

Mom (offscreen): I heard all of that!

(laugh track)

Miles: Camera, off!

(camera turns off)

(laugh track)

Mom (offscreen): Oh come o-dfajklsdjkflsjlslsdfljfdjkhfjshafdshjsfhdlgkslaf.

(laugh track)

Miles: That’s  the beauty of the Subzero Temperature Audio Camera.  It never really turns off, it just translates everything both me and Mom say into my own form of gibberish!

(laugh track)

Mom (offscreen): Koksjfklsajklfjsklajfkldsajfkjsitmpaorcmklhmckvdkbfgmndkncndmmcnhjmsnklhjkcn!  Ejaskjfkljaslkfmjsafdkjfklawjgf!!!

(laugh track)

Miles: You wouldn’t believe how long it took to invent it.

(laugh track)

(scene is dining room)

(sleepover boys and Eli are seated at the table)

Eli: I can’t wait for dinner!  We’re having bean-burritos!

Sleepover Boys: Yeah!  Woo-hoo!

(Miles enters in mariachi outfit)

(laugh track)

Miles: Who wants bean-burritos?

Sleepover Boys And Eli: I do!

Miles (mutters): You’d think they were getting married.

(laugh track)

Miles: Here they are!

(Miles presents platter heaping with bean-burritos)

Sleepover Boys And Eli: Yay!

(scene is living room)

(Mom and Miles enter)

Mom: You actually did pretty well in there.  I thought you didn’t want anything to do with this.

Miles: I don’t.  But I planted extra beans in their bean-burritos.

Mom: So what?

Miles: And yet you gave birth to me.

(laugh track)

Miles: Beans are a serious factor when it comes to-

Mom: Oh.  That’s disgusting!

(laugh track)

Miles: Even better.

(Miles takes out matchbox and lights match)

Miles: Sorry, Mom, but you roped me into this.

(Miles tosses match into dining room)

(explosion is heard)

(laugh track)

Mom: You are in SOOOO much trouble, young man.

Miles: No, you are.  Plus, I made you a please-forgive-me Porta-Telescope.

Mom: Sounds interesting.  Hand it over.

(Miles gives Mom Porta-Telescope and she looks in it)

Mom: Cool.  All things forgiven.

Miles: I thought you’d say that.

(Mom lifts scope to reveal back eye)

(laugh track)


One Comment

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  1. Donald / Jul 25 2010 7:39 pm

    I used to try to blow up my little brother and his friends from time time. One time I held up a big magnifying glass to the sun and tried to fry them. My big sister caught me and told my mother. My punishment was summer school classes about the history of 5th Ave. in Bethlehem.

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