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November 7, 2010 / milesandhisfavorites

Urban Jungle Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE: THE PIRATE’S LAND

“Class, you may find your desk to be in a different spot today.” said the teacher.  We switched desks practically every week nowadays.  It was like tiny islands were constantly moving around an ocean of tiles and plush carpeting.  And that got me thinking.  Everything went sea-green the moment I thought about islands.

When I came to, there was no air.  There was no air because I was sinking into an ocean!  I swam to the surface, gasping for air.  I noticed I was bobbing in a vast ocean.  Surrounding me were twenty-five tropical islands, each one only about as big as a yacht.  Each one had a sandy beach with names and crucial learning information etched into it.  And they were constantly moving.  I ducked back under just as one nearly slammed into me.  An emerald pirate ship passed by, firing cannons.  Something in my head clicked.  They were the Popularity Pirates, head cheerleaders and scourges of the classroom.  And behind them was the weirdest monster I had ever seen.

It leaped out of the water like a submarine, and it was very strange.  It was about as long as a football field, with the body of an armored snake.  It’s head was like a streamlined crocodile snout.  But the weirdest thing was that it had brown hair in a tight bun, with wire-rimmed spectacles!  In fact, it was almost like my homeroom teacher had been fused with a sea serpent.  Just when I realized that’s exactly what it was, it jumped clear out of the water, and chomped down hard, sinking the pirate ship.  Shreds of pom-poms and short skirts went everywhere, and when I dove underwater to see where the teacher sea monster was, I saw a huge pair of jaws right below me.

I swam to the side fast right before the crocodilian jaws of steel closed right where I was!  Enraged, the teacher sea monster swam after me.  I just barely made it up onto the shores of desk #18 before the teacher sea monster beached herself.  The moment she touched the beach, she sunk in like sped-up quicksand.  All that remained was a pair of spectacles that could decorate an optometrist’s office.  After gathering various vines and planks of wood, I patched together something that could just barely pass as a makeshift raft.  I shaped two paddles and set off toward the sunken wreckage of the Popularity Pirates’ ship.

When I got there, all that remained was a seriously shattered hull that was about half above the surface, half totally sunk.  I grabbed some torn pieces of sail, and patched them together with a few big splinters.  I tied the cloth to the bottom of the boat, like a warning to teacher sea monsters (Monster killer on boat-stay away if you value your life!). Unfortunately, right next to me, another teacher sea monster sprang straight up in the air!  This one was at least three football fields long!  Luckily, she didn’t see me.  But when I dunked my head underwater, I saw her jaws right in front of my face!  In a frenzy, I conked myself on the head with an oar, and blacked out.

When I woke up, I was on the floor.  Everyone was laughing at me.  Well, I guess having a great imagination comes at a cost.  Just not the cost I had expected.

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