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February 9, 2011 / milesandhisfavorites

Educational Universe: Zoo Of Wonder

I caught the Dinosaur Train heading to The Land Of Wrench.  It was a small and humble part of the Educational Universe, covered steep green hills that housed ziggurat-based cities.  All of the locals were wrench-based, and they operated one of the few zoos in the Educational Universe, and the largest one, as well.  In the zoo housed some of the greatest and most majestic animals ever to wander the many biomes of Dindong Country or the finest specimens from the rolling plains of Ixmit!  What joy!  What amazement!  The train stopped at Wrenchland Station, and me, along with a family of Rhabdodon and two newlywed Tapejara couples, got off.

The whole place was shaped like a giant octagon, which was sliced in multiple pieces by paths and exhibits.  I walked up to the bird house, which was about three acres wide and long (the entire zoo was over 85,000).  The first exhibit was shaped like a donut, so we had to walk through a small underground tunnel to get there.  The exhibit amazed me.  It was a big grassland, about half an acre around, with strange trees that looked like palm trees with pine needles lining the leaves dotting the landscape.  Flying all over the place were vulture-sized sparrows, with raccoon-like white circles around their eyes like glasses.  According to the exhibit sign:


The Birda Bird is a large bird native to the lush grasslands of Ixmit.  They only live in Birda Trees, which, other than grass, is the only species of foliage in this exhibit.

I saw a sneaky looking green-skinned guy in a fedora and trench coat sneaking around the Staff Only exhibit entrance.  He produced from his pocket-nothing.  He motioned his hand around the keyhole like he was using a key, and somehow, the door opened.  He tossed the invisible key to the side, and slunk away using the guest entrance tunnel.  I grabbed where the key supposedly was, and somehow, my fingers closed around a cold metal object-the key.  Suddenly, I only felt a short and slim metal rod, and then nothing.  “Whoa,” I muttered.  “It vanished into-thin air.”  That’s when a group of Birda Birds flew out of the staff entrance, and all broke loose.

Everybody in the viewing area was startled, and we scrambled out using the tunnel.  I ran through a hall towards the sound of rushing water.  The next exhibit covered about an acre, and was based off of a tropical clearing.  A giant waterfall dominated the back wall, and a single large bird was wandering around.  It was about nine feet tall, and looked like a purple ostrich, only it had ears that were at least a foot tall, and were pointed like that of an elf’s.  The exhibit sign read:


Elfas are some of the largest birds in the Educational Universe.  They prefer the lush Zither Jungle as their home.  During mating season, their ears fall off, much like deer antlers.

Sure enough, the trench coat guy had unlocked the door using his invisible key.  The Elfa noticed, and stampeded out of it’s enclosure.  I ran out of the bird house, and towards the outdoor exhibits.  Suddenly, I looked behind me, and saw two creatures stampeding towards me.  They were each slightly smaller than an elephant, but looked like woolly rhinos.  Their horns glowed a faint radioactive green, and they bellowed louder than a whale who was stuck with a dagger.  Quelquels, and not happy ones at that.  They hailed from the grasslands that dotted Dindong Country.  It looked like Fedora Guy had beat me to the outdoor exhibits.  People had started to take notice, and some tour groups were screaming and running around.  This guy had caused chaos, and I took it upon myself to bring him to justice.

I was headed towards the jungle area, where the original Quelquel exhibit was and the Cikitak enclosure.  “Oy,” I heard someone say from behind me.  I spun around to see-an oak tree.  Granted, it was a two-foot wide oak tree with branches that reached up over seventy feet, but still an oak tree.  That’s when I saw that it had a big face carved into it’s trunk, like something a kid with a pocket knife might have made.  And the mouth was moving.  “A little help here?”  I looked up to see a creature perched in it’s upper branches.  It was about six feet long, and looked like a Komodo Dragon, only it had big, scaly bat wings and a tongue that looked like it was made out of fire.  It suddenly vaporized-no, not vaporized, dispersed.  The one dragon had become hundreds of tiny, one-inch long versions of the dragon.  A flock of Tintinthas, no doubt.  “Thanks!” said the oak tree. 

I ran towards the Cypac exhibit.  Inside the boreal forest enclosure, three black, leathery-skinned wolves with a single red, bloodshot eye in the middle of their forehead roamed around.  Sure enough, Mr. Fedora unlocked their cage.  Just then, they noticed me.  Growling and barking, they ran after me.  Luckily, Mr. Fedora had left the door open, and I ran inside the enclosure.  I grabbed a big, juicy, steak treat and tossed it at the three pack hunters.  They ran after it, and fought over it.  Meanwhile, I managed to tackle Mr. Fedora.  He waved his hand, and suddenly, it felt like I had been hit by a giant sledge hammer.  Come to think of it, that’s probably what it was.  I quickly recovered, and managed to sock him in the jaw.  He went down hard.

ABCD Blue was on the scene faster than you could say “Lefty”, which happened to be that guy’s name.  He was accused with animal abuse, endangering the public, disturbing the peace, and violating the Third Kratt Convention On Animal Rights.  Luckily, the actual Kratts were on the scene along with the police.  Man, I love the Educational Universe.

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