Skip to content
March 19, 2011 / milesandhisfavorites

Front Lines Chapter Two: I Am Interrogated By A Bird

“Yeeeaaah,” I said, thinking that the Mimi was joking.  “Right.  So, I don’t get to say goodbye?”  The Mimi shook her head.  “You’re not kidding about this, are you?”  The Mimi smirked.  “Hey,” I said in a displeased tone.  “I thought Mimis were good fairies.”  The Mimi chuckled to herself.  “Well, actually,” she enunciated to annoy me even further.  “Mimis, like all fairies except for Scottish Imps, which are evil, are pretty much neutral.  Not good, not bad.  Most of us, like me, are a little bit rebellious.  By the way, the name’s Burlida.”  She stuck out her hand, and spat what looked like wet chalk dust into it.  I shook, but only hesitantly.  That’s when I heard an ear-piercing alarm.

Burlida grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the chamber and into a cylindrical dirt hallway.  Lining the ceiling every ten yards or so were small stained-glass domes that glowed a bright red.  “Will-o-the-wisp alarm,” Burlida gasped.  “The pattern means that there’s a battle going on somewhere in the world.”  I looked at her with a funny face, then she tugged me into what looked like a meeting room-if a meeting room was packed with chalk fairies.

A Mimi that was about seven feet tall was at the head of the room.  He rapped a spiked gavel on a long maple table where Mimis just a little shorter than he was were sitting at.  “As you know,” he said in a loud, booming voice faintly remniscent of Sylvester Stallone.  “The war of the mythologies has reached it’s boiling point.  And our efforts to stop it are failing.”  Everyone gasped dramatically, but he just rapped his gavel and continued.  “As you also know, our former base underneath the Caribbean Sea was attacked last January, putting hundreds of human lives on the line…”  I looked at Burlida.  “You mean,” I whispered.  “That your war leveled Port-au-Prince?”  Burlida nodded sadly, but Judge Fairy didn’t stop.

“I know you all have heard this story before, but for posterity, I shall repeat it once more.  In 1845, the good titan Prometheus made a deal with the Mythological Council, a society of mythological god kings and queens.  This deal stated, quite simply, that his Clay Of Life would be burned and destroyed, in return for his punishment being waived.  However, in 1850, he was discovered to have a small supply of clay on hand.  Everyone on the Mythological Council blamed each other, and they entered a massive war, mythology vs mythology vs mythology, and so on.  Us Mimis, and our ruler, the Rainbow Serpent, have formed an army known as the Keepers.  Our goal, allied with the Native American mythologies, is to end this war, before it ends us all.”

Everyone applauded.  I was just shocked.  Mythologies real?  Chalk fairies?  Ends us all?  I very nearly fainted when Burlida placed a wet and warm hand on my forehead.  I felt woozy for a moment, then I came to my senses.  Everything made sense now.  Then Judge Fairy rapped his gavel once more.  “But,” he said, very seriously.  “I have not called you here to tell a story we all have heard before.  A battle has been called in the United States, nowhere near the reach of our Native American mythological allies.  Several European nations have made an alliance, and they have attacked Nashville, Tennessee.”

That was the last I heard of it.  I had been loaded, along with Burlida, onto what looked like a large wooden rectangular prisim with white wings that looked like they belonged on a Da Vinci blueprint.  “So, tell me this,” I started.  “Why do you want me here?”  Burlida frowned, then answered in a solemn tone.  “We need connections to the mortal world, Sophia.  The last people, adults, that we tried to draft, they escaped and had nervous breakdowns.  We need a child, someone who can still believe that all of these things exist, because they do.”  That cleared it up pretty well.  Nobody said anything until about half an hour later, when we touched down in Nashville.

We had landed on a crowded street, near the Gruhn Guitar Shop, which had quickly come to a halt due to the fact that about fifteen more of our transports had touched down on the asphalt.  It was not the oddest thing around, but this was the land of country music.  It’s gonna get pretty odd.  What was this odd thing, you may be asking?  Two big dauchsungs, each one three feet long and having pitch-black fur, were roaming through the crowd, led by a six-foot long, black-furred German Shepherd.  The Mimis, about three hundred in all, poured out of the transports and drew what looked like short white flagpoles, each one as long as the Mimi operating it was tall.  Burlida tossed me an obsidian staff topped on either end by a small marble statue of a Mimi.  The dogs noticed us and charged.

Quickly, the dauchsunds changed.  They were now black-furred wolves with unnaturally long torsos, like the dauchsunds they once were.  Burlida ran up beside me, wielding her own flagpole-weapon.  “Beasts,” she said, her voice tinged with terror.  “Of Gevaudan!  They terrorized France back in the late 18th century!  That’s when her eyes went wide.  Her mouth opened to scream, but no words came out.  I saw it too.  The German Shepherd was melting, twisting into a new form.  It now looked like a giant black-furred bear, but leaner, like a human.  It now walked on two legs, and had red reptilian eyes.  Oh, and it looked about as big as an elephant.

The realization hit me like a freight train.  My thoughts flashed back to fifth grade.  My teacher was trying to get our class to read a really old English book.  I finally gave in, and was horrified by what I read.  The book my teacher was trying to get us to read featured the monster that was no more than fifteen meters away as the main antagonist, the one that could easily kill us all.  That book was Beowulf.  And this was Grendel.  The Mimis charged.  I hung back, but one of the Beasts of Gevaudan instantly identified me as a target, and leaped at me.  I ran into the Gruhn Guitar Shop.  The beast smashed one of the window displays, and the store dissolved into chaos and panic.

I ran into the main part of the store and grabbed a bass guitar.  I jammed my staff into the tuning machines, getting it real stuck, and when the beast charged at me again, I swung the staff at it, so the guitar flew at it as well.  The instrument smashed against it, shattering.  The beast howled in pain, but didn’t stop charging.  Two Mimis ran into the store, weapons raised.  They swung their weapons at the beast, and the flagpole things projected white arcs of light that wrapped around the beast like nets.  But the monster wouldn’t let itself get captured.  It swung around, smashing the Mimis against the walls of the store, and vaporizing them into what looked like chalk dust.  The beast cornered me, and I braced myself, when suddenly one of the store walls smashed down.

The plaster crushed the monster like a bug, and standing in it’s place were two human-sized statues.  I remembered them from a class trip to the Ryman Auditorium.  Burlida rushed in, screaming.  Behind her was Grendel, followed by a massive force of Mimis.  I shook my staff at Grendel, hoping to intimidate him, but he just roared.  I saw a purplish glow building in his throat, and ducked for it.  A massive shower of purple sparks shot out of his mouth, engulfing two of the Mimis immediately.  Fire.  This thing could breath FIRE.

The Mimis raised their flagpole weapons and prepared to attack, but Burlida grabbed my hand and pulled me out through a back door.  Outside, the city was in chaos.  Transport ships that looked like copper space shuttles were hovering far above the city, and strange monsters were attacking the streets.  Burlida quickly began talking as we dodged screaming pedestrians.  “So, while you were in the guitar shop, these two golems-you think they’re statues-from the Ryman Auditorium, they came to life and killed one of those Beasts of Gevaudan.  They must have killed the other, too, because you aren’t dead.  Anyway, Grendel sees you get chased by one of the beasts and follows, but I distracted him for a few minutes before he focused on his main target-you.  So we all chase Grendel.  Then some rogue forces from Australia attack, and there were a lot of them, they attacked Nashville, and everything went insane.”

Then, Burlida spat into her hand again and tapped a car door with it.  The door instantly swung open, revealing a massive Hummer interior with a portable TV player and a snack-loaded mini fridge.  Burlida grinned.  “Perfect.”  She shoved me inside, and leaped into the backseat behind me.  Then, she waved her hand at the door, and it slammed shut.  Something jumped onto the car roof.  I looked up through a ceiling window and saw what looked like a giant bear with long limbs and elf ears.  Burlida pulled me under the seats to avoid what would almost certainly have been my death.  Then a yellow-furred wolf with black markings like a tiger jumped onto the bear’s back, and the two leaped into the crowd to cause more chaos.

Just then, the car roof was torn off, and something leaped into the backseat.  Luckily, he didn’t see us, but we did see him.  He was eight feet tall, looked like a man wearing clothing that appeared to be made out of jewels, and had slimy white scales for skin.  He carried what looked like a primitive fishing pole, just a stick with a long string attached.  His hands and feet were webbed, and had claws at the end of his fingers and toes.  He suddenly grabbed me.  I screamed, and so did Burlida.  He picked me up like a baseball and tossed me into the air with amazing strength.  I soared just inches above the massive skyscrapers that dominated the Nashville skyline.  For a moment, I laughed with wonder.  Suddenly, fireworks that looked more like missiles soared into the air above me and exploded.  The colorful sparks wove themselves together into what looked like an anaconda with dragon wings, only it was several hundred feet long.  It opened it’s mouth, which was lined with massive shark teeth as tall as I was, and I was engulfed in color.  Everything went black.

I woke up in what looked like a warehouse, only this warehouse was dominated by a long, winding shape that had cornered me against the wall.  It was about forty feet long, and looked like a python, only instead of wings, it had green and brown feathers like a hoatzin.  It had tall eagle talons for legs, and I saw a pair of giant bird wings folded alongside it.  Suddenly, his eyes opened.  They were startlingly human, with purple pupils and yellowish iris.  He folded his talon legs against his body and slithered up to me.  He grinned, and I saw that his teeth were like that of a shark’s, only the very tips were pea green.  Poison.  His giant tongue flicked between his teeth, and he hissed out a Southern accent.  “I am Quetz,” he said.  “You may also call me Quetzacoatl, High Master Of The Bird People.  Now, tell me about the Keepers!”

I was puzzled.  “The… Keepers?”  The serpent guy sneered.  “Yes, the Keepers!  The Mimis, their Rainbow Serpent overlord, their plans for peace, all of it!  Tell me!”  That’s when the realization hit me.  Judge Fairy had mentioned that they were an army called the Keepers.  It just hadn’t struck me that that’s the information the serpent guy wanted.  “I don’t know a thing!” I replied honestly.  The serpent guy hissed like a cobra magnified by a hundred percent, poison dripping onto my shirt.  That’s when the entire warehouse roof collapsed like a tin can.

I saw at least fifty Keeper transports hovering in a clear blue sky with no clouds.  Jumping into combat, armed with flagpole staffs, were hundreds, if not thousands, of Mimis.  Burlida fell right beside me, and tugged at my arm.  We ran for it, but the serpent guy followed suit.  Suddenly, I felt something bump against my left thigh.  I reached into my brown leather boots and pulled out my Mimi staff.  Burlida shouted instructions of some sort.  “Shake it!  Shake it!”  I shook my staff, and suddenly I heard a clicking and whirring noise.  The tiny Mimi statues on either end of the staff lowered into the obsidian body, and were replaced by gold spear tips, each half as long as the staff itself.  The serpent guy charged, and I instinctively raised the staff to block him.  Just as he pounced into the air, I heard more clicking and whirring, and suddenly the spear tips were on what looked like gold chains.  I swung the staff at him like a bolas, and suddenly he was bleeding along the side of his face.  He hissed in frustration.  “You’ll pay for that!”  But suddenly he was encased in glowing white light, almost blinding to look at.  It turns out that the Mimi forces had managed to capture him, and were taking him to the Yucatan Peninsula, where he belonged.  But then five creatures that looked like parrots the size of minivans landed in the warehouse.  Most of the Mimi forces engaged them, but Burlida pulled me out of the warehouse.

We were in the middle of a dense rainforest.  The warehouse was in the middle of a clearing behind us, or at least, the remains of the warehouse.  Burlida was still pulling me through the forest, and I could see why.  Four more of the parrot monsters were soaring above the clearing and had spotted us.  “Come on,” she said, gasping for breath.  “We have to go!  The Amazonian Garden is a strange and dangerous place!”  I was now very confused.  “What?” I said.  “The Amazonian Garden?”  Burlida stopped me behind a banyan tree.  “Listen,” she replied, panting.  “There are several places in the world where the stuff of mythology still lives in harmony.  Those places are called Gardens.  There’s two in North America, two in South America, one in Europe, one in Africa, three in Asia, and one in Australia.  None in Antarctica, it would disrupt the ecosystem.  Get it?  We need to get you to the Rainbow Garden, the Australia one.  Let’s go!”

That’s when I heard a guttural groaning noise.  Burlida stopped me, and we ducked behind a log.  Passing by was a herd of about fifteen giant creatures.  They had red fur, walked on four legs, and had sloth-like faces.  Burlida pulled me back up, confident that these creatures were not a threat to our well-being.  We hiked for a couple of hours, during which we saw several more, much larger, herds of the red-furred creatures passing through the forest.  Finally, we arrived in another clearing, in which there was a single Mimi transport.  Burlida guided me aboard and took the controls, which looked like something you might find on the world’s largest ATM.  She punched in a few buttons and we were suddenly in the air, headed towards what I guess was the Rainbow Garden.


One Comment

Leave a Comment
  1. Kurt Blumenau / Mar 19 2011 8:09 pm

    Great action-packed episode!
    Wish you hadn’t smashed that ’59 Fender Precision, though.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: