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April 8, 2012 / milesandhisfavorites

MAHF Top Ten: Cheesy TV

If you’re a young adult (unlike me), there was absolutely no shortage of TV shows with hokey plots, bad acting, or something just a little bit odd.  Still, they stick in our heads, and to be honest, we don’t care!  They’re fun to watch, even if they are cheesy as heck.  So, counting down, it’s the MAHF Top Ten Cheesy TV Shows!  Enjoy!

#10. Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego.  Can you think of another villain that teaches you stuff?  I don’t think so.  When I was a little kid, I loved this one.  This wasn’t Carmen’s first appearance in the media, though.  She had two game shows and a series of computer games, which is a pretty good track record considering that every intelligence agency in the world has a million-dollar bounty on information leading to your capture.  Still, though, the whole education in disguise thing made everything seem… weird.  Add that to the fact that the show apparently takes place inside a computer game, and you’ve got yourself a show that can make this list, easy.

#9. The Tribe.  Yup, this New Zealand TV show that inspired Abandoned is on the list.  Why?  Because, yeah, it’s a little cheesy in set design and acting, but you have to give Cloud 9 (the makers of The Tribe) some credit-the story lines are fun, the characters and neat, and come on, who can forget that cool music!  Okay, you’re going to have to YouTube the music, but trust me-it’s inspiring and cool!  While a little cheesy (it’s a ’90s show, get over it!), The Tribe is one show I want to completely see before I die.

#8. Muppet Babies.  I know, the Toughpigs guys are going to burn me at the stake, but tell me that that show isn’t cheesy?  Baby Muppets having imaginary adventures in a nursery.  Admittedly, it’s my idea of a fun infancy, but the way it’s done is just… hokey.  Amy Mebberson is going to kill me, but just because it’s cheesy doesn’t make it bad!  I loved Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego and The Tribe, which proves my point.

#7. Any Scooby Doo cartoon.  It’s one of the most classic Hanna-Barbara shows of all time.  And it’s so cheesy, I’m pretty sure it was filmed in Wisconsin.  The plot is cheesy, the characters are cheesy, and most of all, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW IS CHEESY!  I mean, why call yourself Mystery, Inc?  If you’re chasing monsters, you should be called Cryptozoology, Inc, or something like that!  Come to think of it, was there any mystery in the cartoon that didn’t involve a monster?  Why not have the gang solve a murder?  Or a burglary?  Or just freakin’ insurance fraud!  On the bright side, you’ve got to hand it to Hanna-Barbara for somehow creating a new monster for… how many series was that?  Something like THIRTEEN!

#6. Dinosapien.  This is probably the most recent show on our list.  It’s about Eno, an intelligent dinosaur who wanders into a paleontology summer camp in Canada (okay, that’s one summer camp I would consider going to).  Followed by a couple of evil bipedal ankylosaurs.  And this is where the cheesiness begins.  There were only fifteen episodes made, all culminating in something to do with Native American mythology.  So, yeah.  See where I’m coming from here?  It’s like The Land Before Time meets Meatballs.  Of course, kudos to the paleontology camp, which is one of only two camps I’d actually go to (the other being Camp Quest).

#5. Any anime you’d care to name.  I don’t even need to go into detail on this one, but I’m going to anyway.  Maybe it’s the outrageous concepts (one has a family who can turn into animals when they’re hugged), maybe it’s the inhumanly annoying voices, or maybe it’s just the eyes, but I find anime to be really cheesy, particularly stuff like Pokemon, etc.  I don’t have as much of a problem with shows like Bakugan, because at the very least the voices sound more normal, but just about anything big-eyed and Japanese belongs on this list.  And don’t even get me started on the titles!  (Project Blue Earth S.O.S.?  Really?)

#4. Ghostwriter.  This is more nostalgic than cheesy, but it still has a place on the list.  Why?  Two reasons.  One is the acting.  It’s pretty stiff, and doesn’t show much, if any, personality at all.  Oh, wait, what was this show about?  It’s about a ghost named Ghostwriter who helps a group of Brooklyn kids solve mysteries using only letters.  So, yeah.  The concept is another thing.  The second problem I have with this show is its writing.  No, the scripts are original and I guess okay, but not an episode goes by where the kids don’t have to either write something or figure out something that has been written.  The kids, for some strange reason considering that they’re in, what, the eighth grade, take at least a few centuries to write a sentence.  Ghostwriter is okay for the time, but man, it can be annoying!

#3. Batman.  This show was a shoe-in to get on the list.  The only reason it isn’t number one is because it was intentionally campy.  And the guys who made it went all out.  Bad costumes, bad lines, mediocre acting, etc.  It’s funny to watch, but also about as good as Muppets From Space.  Which is, to say, not very good at all.  On the bright side, it had celebrity guest stars and none other than Adam West as the Caped Crusader.  Still, I can’t think of a cheesier TV show, other than our top two.

#2. Power Rangers.  Pick a series, any series, this show is cheesy.  And I don’t just mean the older stuff, like Mighty Morphing or Lightspeed Rescue.  Try Dino Thunder (which is admittedly my favorite of them all) or R.P.M., and you’ll agree-it hasn’t changed much, save the clarity of the picture and the actors/Zords/minor plot variations.  Also, who named these guys?  Rangers?  Do multi-colored superheroes leading double lives make you think this?

And the cheesiest TV show of them all is…

#1. Pee-Wee’s Playhouse.  Oh.  My.  God.  Talking furniture, a puppet bully who looks like an extra from Beavis & Butthead, and of course, Pee-Wee Herman (naming your kid that should be considered child abuse) himself.  Bow tie and all.  I suppose it was designed to be funny to little kids, but-it isn’t in the least!  And the opening song… just thinking about it gives me the shakes.  All in all, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse will either make you jump off a bridge or turn your brain into mashed potatoes.  RANCID mashed potatoes.

Well, that’s it.  And thank the Nostalgia Critic it is, because I don’t think I could take it any more.  Man-boys, red-suited super-thieves, and of course, really good post-apocalyptic Maori-themed shows.  This was… interesting.

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